Celebrations of Germanic Heritage Day in Rome End With Vicious Sack of the City

Rome - The cash-strapped Italian government declared Germanic Heritage Day a success despite vandalism, theft and kidnappings.

“It’s about time that our country recognizes and celebrates the contributions made by German peoples to Italian society,” said the Minister of Tourism and Cultural Heritage, Angelo Pesci, as dozens of German tourists ran past his podium carrying armfuls of jewelry and gold coins. “Think about all the money the government will rake in after these tourists spend the wealth they’ve taken. I mean all this money was just sitting in people’s houses doing nothing”

Travellers from Germany, Austria and Switzerland have praised the new holiday.“It feels great to see the accomplishments of my ancestors acknowledged,” explained Erick Friedrich, a tourist from Austria, who was in the process of cutting the head off of a marble statue of the emperor Augustus.

Others have been critical of the Italian government's refusal to pay the ransoms of citizens taken hostage during the celebrations.“The people who failed to reach the designated safe zones in time have only themselves to blame,” said Maria Prisconi, who heads the organization Citizens Against Wasteful Government Spending.

At press time government officials could not be reached for comments due to the on-going fire raging in the Senate House.